IT IS FOOTBALL SEASON ONCE AGAIN

And there are some things about football, college and professional, which I still don’t understand. Every year I ponder the same mysteries.

Why, on a pass play to the tight end, do the announcers always say the quarterback “completes a pass to the big tight end.” Have you ever seen a tight end in football who isn’t big? I checked statistics on tight ends in the pros. A sampling of five shows that the average weight is 250 lbs. and the average height is 6’ 4”. Do the announcers think we can’t tell that the tight end is big? Just once I would like to hear an announcer say, “The quarterback completes a pass to the little tight end.” That won’t happen, but the use of the phrase ‘big tight end’ is far better than “the quarterback completes a pass to his tight end.”

Another call by announcers that always intrigues me is the one about the running back who has broken through the line for a 20 or 30 yard run for a touch down. “And No. 22 scampers 30 yards for the touchdown!”

Only football players “scamper”. Baseball players don’t scamper as they run the bases. A basketball player doesn’t scamper after stealing the ball and running down the floor for a slam dunk.

And yet I cannot imagine telling a 6’, 210 lbs. running back named Bubba that he ran ‘nimbly and playfully about’ as he scored the touchdown.

Bambi scampers. Bubba barreled his way through to the end zone.

AWARDS?

President Barack Hussein Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize last week. Quite an honor. An interesting choice given that the man has only been in office nine months and has only given speeches about things the prize committee deems important in its selection process. But the President has to be proud.

What should make him more proud is that just a few months ago he was given an honor not afforded to other presidents, except for Washington and Jefferson. Just in time for Christmas gift giving, Joseph Enterprises is again promoting its Chia Pet of President Obama. The Nobel Peace Prize pales in comparison to the Chia Pet award. Or does it?

MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO! Part II

I root for the University of Oregon Ducks. My reasons for doing so are plentiful. My daughter is a Duck. Three of her uncles are Ducks, as are three first-cousins, several first-cousins once removed and her great-grandfather. There are some Oregon State Beavers in the family and come football season we have great fun cheering on our respective schools.

This carries over into my work. The boss is a Beaver Believer. She hired me even though on the day of my interview I was wearing my Duck hat and Duck Dad t-shirt.

I do not miss an opportunity to have the toddler kids yell out, “Go Ducks!” when the boss is in the room. She plays along with the kids and responds with a “Go Beavs!” and then gives me a look that lets me know she is on to my tricks.

My monkey see monkey do kid joins right in with the “Go Ducks!” even though he has no idea what the fun is all about.

Or maybe he does. The other day the cheering started for the boss’ benefit. The young man joined in and proceeded to use a plastic carrot he was holding as a club. He was hitting another child on the head while he was chanting “Go Ducks!” over and over.

None of the other kids were hitting anybody as they chanted so I wondered where my monkey see monkey do kid got the idea to hit somebody on the head. Then I remembered the Boise State game in September. The power of television…