BECOMING THE OLDER GENERATION

My mom’s only sibling, her sister, died recently. Aunt Geri was the last of her generation on the Gretzer side of the family.

When I was telling my brother Rick about Aunt Geri he was reflecting on days gone by. He said, “When I was a little kid I always thought Aunt Geri was kind of crotchety. But when I visited her in my 20’s, she was pretty nice.”

I thought the same. When you consider that Aunt Geri was married to Uncle Eddie, a very gregarious man, and had five sons who take after their father, who could blame her for being crotchety? She was outnumbered 6 to 1. And when her sister and family came to visit, the odds weren’t any better. Our family had six children, one girl and five boys. Come to think of it, my mom was crotchety too. It was quite a sight, two mothers having to deal with all those boys. I would feel sorry for Aunt Geri and Mom but I think they won the battle. The ten of us boys turned out okay, despite our efforts to the contrary.

My earliest memory of Aunt Geri was on a visit to the Gretzer family house in Council Bluffs. It was a grand old house with lots of family running about. Aunt Geri and Uncle Eddie, the boys, our grandmother, great-aunt and great-grandmother all lived there. We were visiting one summer and after a hard day of playing and staying up past our bedtime, Aunt Geri was trying to get my cousin Tim and me to settle down and go to sleep. We finally did, but we tried Aunt Geri’s patience as best we could before she eventually won out. Strong and determined to get done what must be done, Aunt Geri prevailed.

Like my brother Rick, when I visited as an adult I saw Aunt Geri in a different light. I had just turned 20 and had quit school. The draft was in effect and I had opted to enlist in the Air Force. I was telling Aunt Geri and her son Tom about it. Tom, who had been in the Navy, urged me to do something else. Aunt Geri said to Tom, “Let him do what he wants.” What she didn’t say to me but what I heard was, “It’s your decision and we love you!” There was no judgment, just unconditional love.” I never told her how much I appreciated that. Instead, I told her one of my favorite dirty jokes. Aunt Geri had this absolutely marvelous laugh! Such a different woman from when we were little kids with 4th grade bathroom humor and she would have to scold us for our behavior.

Aunt Geri was what I call a tough old bird. She was part of a generation that lived through the Depression, fought in World War II and raised a passel load of kids in a post war economy. You had to be tough to survive those events.

About 10 years ago, my mom showed me a picture of Aunt Geri. She was elegantly dressed and looking deep into the camera. Mom says, “Doesn’t Aunt Geri look just like a southern matriarch!” She did indeed. And you don’t mess with a southern matriarch or a tough old bird. I found this out the hard way.

There is an old family photo of Mom and Aunt Geri when they were little girls. It hung in the grand old house in a place of honor. On one visit, looking at the picture, I asked Aunt Geri, “How much older than Mom are you?” I didn’t make that mistake again. However, I did set my younger brothers up for a similar experience in the ensuing years by getting them to ask the same question. They needed to know Aunt Geri’s tougher side. But even after the obligatory fuming over our insolence, there was always a glimmer in Aunt Geri’s eye that told you that you really weren’t in trouble.

With Aunt Geri’s going home to God, we cousins are now the older generation and my sister Kathy is the oldest of the Gretzer women. The next generation, the younger generation, has a few more women in it than ours and the torch is being passed to them.

I have a hope for you ladies in the next generation with that Maloney/Gretzer blood flowing in your veins. It is simply this; I hope you have qualities like Aunt Geri.

I hope you are crotchety, that you have dealt with the ups and downs of life and have survived. You will have earned the right to be crotchety.

I hope you are strong and determined and getting done the things in life that need to be done. The world needs your strength and determination.

And I hope that when your own children and nieces and nephews mess with you and test your patience that you have that glimmer in your eye and the unconditional love that Aunt Geri showed me. They need to know your joy, your guidance and your love.

There is sadness in my heart now that Aunt Geri is gone from this world. But there is great joy as well. Aunt Geri and Uncle Eddie are together again, holding each other close and resting comfortably in God’s loving embrace.